Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
