These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
