I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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