nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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