She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
