i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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