Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize