I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Randomize
