It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
