she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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