i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
