Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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