the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
