ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
