She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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