yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
The uberlube is also flammable
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
