Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
i believe in u and ur pee
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
