Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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