were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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