its not stalking. its research.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
