Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
