Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
