is your mom at the bar?
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
