You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Vodka?
Forever.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
