everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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