i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
