24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
