Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
not ubering you a puppy
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
