vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
