Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
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