We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize