i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
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