Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
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