just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
