i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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