he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Randomize
