I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
