you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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