Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize