hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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