White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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