Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Randomize
