so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
