i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
