i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
my sisters under your porch take her home
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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