i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
