Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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