I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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