He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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