I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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