wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
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