i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
