glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
