In the future we'll all be gay
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You have to summon your inner elephant
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
