Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Randomize
