Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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