Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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