Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
my shit smells like andre
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Randomize
