My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
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