If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
