I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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