Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
