im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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