Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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