i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
And then my night got REAL pukey
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
