he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
