your thong is hanging out like whoa
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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