So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I smell stomach acid.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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