kristin has been a bad kristin
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
