stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
