i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Princesses don't give blow jobs
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
