his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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